Parents Keep Children Home From Socialist Schools

Missoula, MT--

A group of enraged parents have decided to keep their children home from school until the government "gets out of the education business."

Mark Scheffler, a local insurance agent and spokesperson for the group said, "We were going to keep our kids home today because of the socialist messages Obama was going to give in his back-to-school speech. Then we realized that the entire public school system was a socialist conspiracy. What makes the government think it knows anything about education? It sure has failed us miserably!"

Dr. Alex Apostle, Superintendent of Missoula County Public Schools said, "The United States has a long and proud history of public education. Many scientific advances in the 20th Century came from American public higher-education institutions and nearly 90% of all American children receive their education at a public school. This is hardly a grand socialist conspiracy!"

In rebuttal, Mr. Scheffler said, "We know the idea of public education was championed by that Red Frenchy Napoleon. And if by 'science' he is referring to that hooey about evolution and stem cells, he can keep it! We all know what the Bible says and it has all of the answers you'll ever need. Except about life insurance: I'm your man for that."