California Goes Red Over Lack of Wine at “Beer Summit”

San Francisco, CA—

The electoral map has been turned on its head with four reliably Democratic states, led by California, now in play due to the lack of a wine offering at the Beer Summit being hosted at the White House by President Obama. The Beer Summit is a meeting between the President and Dr. Henry Louis Gates, Jr., a professor at Harvard, and Sgt. James Crowley, a Cambridge who arrested Dr. Gates at the scholar’s home on July 23.

“Duh people of Cah-lee-fornia will not stand for this!” said California’s Republican Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger.

California is America’s leading wine-producing state. It also has the greatest number of electoral votes. While President Obama would have still won the election without California’s 55 electoral votes, he would have had to spend more resources there and that may have had a greater impact. Had he lost all of the four leading wine producing states—the others being Washington, Oregon, and New York—he would have lost the electoral college to Senator John McCain 278-260.

Jennifer Montgomery, spokesperson for The National Association of American Wineries, said, “The President needs to be mindful of who elected him. It wasn’t godless, effete, beer-drinking Liberals! The godless, effete Liberals are Chardonnay-sipping!”