MLB Orders All Batters to Wear Single, Sequined Batting Glove to Honor Michael Jackson

New York--
Major League Baseball will honor the memory of the late pop superstar Michael Jackson by issuing sequined batting gloves to all of its players for games played today. "We felt it was the least we could do as the nation struggles with the death of the King of Pop," said MLB Commissioner Bud Selig. "So many people were touched by his music and fashion sense. Really, who didn't own a red, leather zipper jacket in the '80s? Since we already issue colored sweatbands for breast and prostate cancer research, we thought the glove was a good idea."

Alex Rodriguez, star of the New York Yankees said, "It was such a shock to hear of his death. I mean, at one time he was bigger than Madonna, who I'm just friends with. I think the sequined glove is just the kind of honor he deserves."

"And, I mean," he continued, "think of all of the great Jacksons who played baseball: Reggie Jackson, Shoeless Joe Jackson, Darrin Jackson--who was an under-rated outfielder--Michael could have been one of them. We owe it to him for what he gave to us."

Reports that the Los Angeles Dodgers will "moonwalk" to first base on all walks for the rest of the season cannot be confirmed at this time.